My boyfriend refuses to get a job
Recently, my colleagues had a discussion about a trend in couples that we have observed where one partner refuses to get a job to support the household or have a stable employment. Here are some reasons why people choose to stay with a partner who refuses to work. Even though you may start to feel a lot of hurt, anger, and resentment towards your partner, ultimately you stay in the relationship because you are getting something out of it. You have to be honest with yourself and explore what that is.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Lazy spouse that doesn't search for a job - How to deal
Ask Dr. NerdLove: My Boyfriend Won’t Look For Work
Part of it is my doing — I encouraged him to quit his job in December without having something lined up, which goes against my usual advice. However, the people he worked for were terrible; I have a high bullshit threshold and these people went way past it.
He once went to them with a complaint of sexual harassment by a female client — which made him profoundly and understandably uncomfortable — and they LAUGHED at him and told him he should be flattered! Fuck that noise, I said. Then February. Then March. I tried to be supportive — I wrote him lists of places to call and apply to, I helped him with cover letters and went over what he could say in interviews.
But still, no progress. He has a history of low self-esteem issues that I understand, having suffered similar issues myself. He seems to only be able to hit the panic button on hard issues. I make enough money to cover the rent barely so any other expenses are being covered by money I inherited.
When I told him about it months ago we discussed it being used for our wedding and a house and vacations, etc. I could maybe give him a temporary pass if he were at least contributing around the house instead of dumping that on you too.
You want a partner. He wants a mom. So what do you need to do? You need to apply boot to ass. Period, the end. And until then? Turn off the money spigot.
Then stick him in front of the Monster login page and tell him to start applying. One of the things stopping me is that, her brother is protective of her—which I completely find understandable. Although, she is old enough to make her own decisions. Her stepmom has even noticed that I would be a good match for her based how I treat her.
If I say anything to her about it, do I jeopardize losing my best friend? Her only advice was that she could see me with someone as young as Can we cut the bullshit a little, SOS? So what do you do? You can spend weeks and months trying to read the tea leaves and divine her intentions from subtle little things that may or may not mean anything.
Extreme, I know. CraftLass I found his repeated descriptor of "polite" to be a bit of a red flag. That's how you describe that nice barista or a colleague you barely ever talk to, not someone who makes your heart go NerdLove Dr. NerdLove Store Dr.
Them Money Troubles Short and sweet: your boyfriend needs to grow the fuck up. Good luck. Hey Doc. Ask Dr. Share Pin 1. Recent Comments CraftLass I found his repeated descriptor of "polite" to be a bit of a red flag. That's telling. It's like if you're asking "how do I fix my computer" and getting It all seems rather polite and pleasant, What were you hoping to get from coming to this website?
Nerds and Male Privilege. When Masculinity Fails Men. Tags abusive relationships ask dr.
My Boyfriend Can’t Find a Job and It’s Driving Me Nuts!
FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Dedicated boyfriend but unemployed and unambitious, should i end it? I'm 29, have a doctorate, make 6 figures and own my own place.
Part of it is my doing — I encouraged him to quit his job in December without having something lined up, which goes against my usual advice. However, the people he worked for were terrible; I have a high bullshit threshold and these people went way past it. He once went to them with a complaint of sexual harassment by a female client — which made him profoundly and understandably uncomfortable — and they LAUGHED at him and told him he should be flattered! Fuck that noise, I said.
Don’t Marry Your Man If He Lacks These 4 Traits
He has no sense of pride. What would he have to be proud of in his life? He put off a false sense of confidence because really he had the lowest of low self-esteem. He had no sort of self-worth because what is HE really worth? No job means he contributes nothing to society. While he acted like his carefree life was grand, deep down he was ashamed, but still too lazy to do something about it. He expects everything to be handed to him. He thought that life was just supposed to be easy. If he ever had to put in any kind of work, he just quit.
Christina, 29, has been with her serious boyfriend for several years. Whenever they go anywhere, she now pays for them both. This could go one of two ways: It could be the catalyst for your breakup, or it could be the first major challenge that you and your boyfriend get through together. Neither will be fun or sexy.
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: I'm Worried About My Boyfriend's Lack Of Ambition