Questions to ask your christian fiance before you get married
What follows is a guide for counselors to take a couple contemplating marriage, or engaged to be married, through a basic process of discovery. Counselors should feel free to adapt this approach to their own gifts and style, so long as the essentials are covered. Keep in mind also that each couple to be counseled will have different levels of spiritual maturity and needs. Circumstances among couples will also vary. Some will be engaged for the first time; others may have been married before.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Questions To Ask Before You Get Married - Stephan Speaks w/ Lewis Howes
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 8 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Getting MarriedContent:
- Expert Insights: 19 Important Questions To Ask Before Marriage
- 10 questions to ask before you get engaged
- 10 Topics Every Christian Couple Should Discuss before Marriage
- 4. A Sample Approach To Pre-Marriage Counseling
- 30 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
- 34 Christian Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Marriage
- 50 Questions to Ask Before Falling in Love
Expert Insights: 19 Important Questions To Ask Before Marriage
What does your job entail? For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks? What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working? Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals?
Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper? Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on? How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone? Have differences about home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Under what circumstances? Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts? Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person's salary? Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school? Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money?
Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear? When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it? What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn? Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss?
Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship? Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you? Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future? Have you ever had a live-in partner?
Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and about commitment? Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you? What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?
Be specific! This is no time to hedge. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about? Who taught you about sex? Do you use sex to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use sex to try and help you feel better?
Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex? Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows? Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week? Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship? Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?
Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Is weight control important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight? Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks? What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks? What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb? A breast?
How would you handle this loss? Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary? Do you want children? How many? Are you unable to have children? Who is responsible for birth control?
What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children? What is your view of fertility treatments? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion? Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption? How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family?
Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby? Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? The first year? Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation?
Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior? Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active? In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children? Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied? Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
10 questions to ask before you get engaged
The way your partner answers and responds will be very telling and eye-opening. What is your love language? If we get stuck in our marriage, are you willing to seek outside help with a counselor?
Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It signifies the commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. But love isn't always enough. There are questions to ask before marriage that go beyond love like children, dealing with conflicts, beliefs, finances and extended family.
10 Topics Every Christian Couple Should Discuss before Marriage
What does your job entail? For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks? What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working? Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper? Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
4. A Sample Approach To Pre-Marriage Counseling
Ever wonder what you need to talk about before you get married? As a marriage counselor offering premarital counseling for many years, I have selected these as the most important topics along with questions for you to explore before you walk down the aisle. Trouble discussing any of these issues might suggest to you that sitting down with a premarital counselor could be helpful. You can contact me directly at
You got down on one knee or they did! Flowers, the church, the guest list…but wait. In this piece, Christian author Andrew Hess discusses 19 of the most vital questions to ask before marriage, questions that will make sure your wedding day is the start of a solid marriage foundation.
30 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
My husband and I act as a support couple for couples thinking about getting married. We help to facilitate conversation between them, and encourage them to talk about any areas that may be contentious. If this is the case, it is definitely worth asking some serious questions and knowing where you stand. You may find that some of these questions are deal breakers for you, and if your views differ you may decide not to pursue the relationship.
Latest family articles and help. Weekly CBN. Dating with Pure Passion. The barrage of questions surprised me because I had no reservations about giving her my heart. In my mind, I would have been a fool not to marry Ashley.
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