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Things for a single woman to do alone

There's a reason Hollywood loves to make movies about independent women Eat, Pray Love and Wild , for example : They're relatable, moving, inspiring, and not afraid to do something solo. But you don't have to wait for a life-changing experience to get started when there are plenty of amazing things you can do by yourself. In a study by the British Journal of Psychology , scientists found that highly intelligent people became less satisfied the more time they spent with friends. In other words, spending some quality time with yourself is good for your overall well-being and results in greater life satisfaction.

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25 things every woman should do alone at least once

I was recently speaking with a recently-separated friend. She had been with her husband for more than 15 years, and the prospect of spending so much alone time was daunting.

Taking care of the car, the yard and the taxes were new to her. She craved a vacation, but the thought of traveling alone scared the shit out of her. Meanwhile, as the economy, social norms, and gender equality progress, we collectively chose more solitary lives.

To wit:. There is a difference between loneliness, social isolation and spending time alone, as this article in Popular Science does a good job of explaining. You can be surrounded constantly by people — even people whom you love, and who love you — and feel lonely. You can also spend a lot of time alone, but not be socially isolated because you chose to spend quality time with people you have a meaningful connection with.

Lonliness and social isolation are negatives, with higher risks of death, mental and physical health, and generally lower quality of life. A lot of quality alone time, however, is so excellent for you in many ways. This NBC News article does a very excellent job highlighting all science that finds that while people are terrified of doing things alone preferring electric shocks to being alone with our thoughts!

Some highlights from related studies on time spent alone:. Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. Examining my own life, I have experienced a huge shift in how I experience time alone. When I was in my teens and 20s, I was often lonely, and would constantly seek out company for the sake of company — including:.

I love my alone time, and I crave vast sums of it. In fact, learning to love and feed off my alone time has nurtured every facet of my life. Comfort in your solitude is the ultimate power, the ultimate freedom.

How I spend my free time is dictated by choice, not fear. My relationships are nurtured out of a genuine connection, not the terror of being single or lonely — and deeper and more genuine as a result. Today, if I spend time with you — whether you are a friend, a colleagues, a man — it is because I really enjoy your company. You are not a Band-Aid for loneliness.

We connect, and I love your company. Today, I am rarely lonely even though that has its use. After all, how do you know you feel connected if you never feel lonely? This comfort in being alone has also opened me up to the world. I travel internationally and domestically solo experience in Copenhagen below , and as I desire, feel very free to go on hikes my latest obsession , dine where I desire, go to the theater and movies, and generally enjoy my life.

Including with other humans! I am fortunate in my wide circle of incredible friends, an amazing boyfriend and two cool kids with whom I share many adventures. But this post is not about my full social life. It is about solitude. They are not mutually exclusive. In fact, per the above research, we all require quality alone time to grow our relationships. Doing things alone takes on a different power as it relates to women.

We have collectively been taught that there are many things we should not do alone: Go to a bar or restaurant, for example too slutty! Doing these things takes some inner strength, for it calls on you to buck the patriarchy, and your related fears. But once you do it, you will never look back. In fact, you will look to for more things you can accomplish solo. This is a list I co-created with the wonderful members of our closed Facebook group Millionaire Single Moms:.

That is a goal anyone can achieve! I don't usually miss my kids so much when we're apart — after all, part of being a divorced family is that you are apart from your kids, and everyone gets used to it. This time we were all so sad about saying goodbye.

The following afternoon I found myself on a plane, catching up on all the great TV that I never watch Veep, Silicon Valley and chatted for a few hours with the young Danish woman sitting next to me. She is 32, uncertain about her relationship, but wanting a family. It will blow your mind! I got serious. Telling this stranger about my children, and my plans to spend the better part of a month alone in a place where I don't have any friends felt sad.

When I was in my 20s I traveled all over the world by myself. It was lonely sometimes, but mostly a great, fun adventure. Now I have a full life. Then, there was a hostel or Irish pub in every city where other young travelers like myself met. Now, I don't know where to go. Now, I miss my kids, an I am particular about how my coffee ought to be in the morning.

Now, I feel the urgent tug of work, owing to my uncharacteristically empty days. Now, I am a middle-aged mom. Where does a middle-aged mom find some delicious trouble? I admit that I hadn't done much research about my destination, or made many plans — sightseeing or otherwise — aside from some big work projects I plan to tackle.

When we landed at a. Even if the Danes speak very good English, I find it rude not to make an earnest effort to speak the local language, and I hadn't learned a word. Not to mention that not knowing the country's tongue puts you at a great risk for making an ass of yourself.

So when, following my host's public transit instructions, and I missed the bus stop, I ate my slice of humble pie and asked the driver to set me straight, and after crossing the street and catching my next lift, arrived at the big, old apartment complex in Vesterbro, an artist-turned-yuppie neighborhood, not unlike New York's Williamsburg.

My host had left me Danish bread — a dark and heavy, of sprouted grain — blueberries, local yogurt and beer, along with a hand-written welcome note. My new neighbor showed me to what would be my bike, the laundry, and an outdoor common yard outfitted with a sandbox, grills and elaborate recycling system.

We laughed and took pictures. I'd made so many purchases so American? My neighbor friend was fun and sweet, laughing along with me as I nearly tipped over on my over-loaded bike. That combined with the graciousness of my host, who I liked so much even if I will likely never meet her, but will live an intimate, intertwined co-existence with her, cooking in her kitchen, and sleeping in her sheets, gave me a sense of generosity of the universe.

I will say here that exploring Copenhagen via bike was the single thing that I was most excited about this journey. Bicycle riding is my No. For three hours I explored the main roads, and the cobbled side streets and the post-card favorite Nyhaven, where old, colorful homes now mostly touristy restaurants and gift shops line the canal.

I cruised along the inlets and around the harbor and circled through the parks. Sure, the movie was sad, but mostly it made me happy. Because she was such a very real, pure and original talent. Just because her life was shorter than average doesn't mean it was shorter than it should have been. By the time I left, it was close to 9 p. Even though it was Saturday night, none of the streets were crowded, and in many ways it feels like a large town, rather than a capitol city.

It was all plain and gorgeous, and taking it in made me swell with gratitude. Now, I was still in my black capris leggings and sports tank top, neon Brooks sneakers, good and sweaty.

But this isn't the United States. This is Europe, where women get themselves together before they leave the house and interact with other humans, including flea market vendors. These Danes, they are cool customers. The two blonde young women happily folded up my purchase and sent me on my way with polite nods. I wandered to the next vendor and decided on a pretty black silk oversized blouse and mauve and orange silk batik shirt-dress, and the pretty middle-aged vendor quoted me crowns, and — being the American that I am — I offered She smiled in a way that only European women can.

There I cooked myself some very good pasta and cheese sauce with some brie I'd bought the day before, and regretted not buying any wine, even if it wouldn't have fit in my bike basket.

Because there is no need to feel lonely or alone. As I've mentioned, my kids are in Europe with their dad for more than two weeks. Everyone kept asking what special things I was going to do with all my free time. I had a long list of friends I hoped to see, work and home projects that had gone unattended to, and for the most part I can say I didn't make a dent in any of that. But I did fixate on getting away for a few days.

Recently I've fantasized about a writer's weekend. I envisioned myself in a cabin in the woods where I could escape city noise and filth and lavish in the gruesome loneliness that creative people know fuels great art. But then that fantasy started to feel like garden-variety loneliness. After all, I spend much of my life writing, alone, and feeling lonely. Doing the same in a prettier location is no vacation! We started planning a weekend at an inn upstate New York.

But I just could not squander the precious kid-free time away. Friday I booked an AirBnB property — a funky cabin in the woods upstate New York — tossed my hiking boots, swim suit and a going-out dress you never know in my overnight bag.

31 Fun Things To Do By Yourself

Do you ever feel compelled by social media and cultural pressures to be more social and outgoing? Or do you take the time to find fun things to do alone? Sometimes it appears the only way to be happy and fulfilled is to cram your schedule with social events and spend most of your waking hours with other people.

There's a reason why Hollywood loves to make movies about independent women Joy, Eat, Pray Love, Legally Blonde, Under the Tuscan Sun, Wild-this list could go on and on : they're relatable, moving, inspiring, and full of all the things we fantasize about doing on our own. But you don't have to wait for a life-changing experience to do something solo.

And sometimes you may very well get sick of the same old same old. You watch your friends post their Friday night with their boo on IG while yours consists of solo Netflix and chill. It is so important to have alone time and embrace being single because this is where you create a healthy relationship within. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. So how do you embrace it?

43 Fun Things to Do By Yourself During Your Lifetime

I was recently speaking with a recently-separated friend. She had been with her husband for more than 15 years, and the prospect of spending so much alone time was daunting. Taking care of the car, the yard and the taxes were new to her. She craved a vacation, but the thought of traveling alone scared the shit out of her. Meanwhile, as the economy, social norms, and gender equality progress, we collectively chose more solitary lives. To wit:. There is a difference between loneliness, social isolation and spending time alone, as this article in Popular Science does a good job of explaining. You can be surrounded constantly by people — even people whom you love, and who love you — and feel lonely.

41 things every woman should do alone (at least once)

The fear of being alone is ingrained early on, basically as soon as you exit the womb. No one wants to be the person who doesn't know anyone at a party , even though if you look at it differently, it can actually be a fun experience. Really, an aversion to being alone is often a fear of loneliness that's gone to the extreme. You can have a fulfilling life but still choose to do things alone because there are experiences, like the following 13, that are sometimes better that way. Like the kind where you're actively sweating, you realize you'll be sore for at least a day after, and there's an unbelievable summit at the top that will make it all worth it.

It may seem like social distancing has given you no choice but to stay at home, but it's important to remember that making time for yourself improves your mental well-being.

Being single used to be a death sentence way back when. I mean, who the hell would want to do things alone all the time? But now, being single is one of the most badass things a woman can do.

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